Take Me

From TCWiki

OOC Explanation

As we all know, Ash and Saeko are rivals on a fan-fiction board. Generally Saeko writes racey trash, while Ash tends to try to write plausible but somewhat dull fan-fiction. Saeko razzes Ash about this regularly. This is Ash's practical-joke way of getting the drop on Saeko by impersonating her and defaming her... well, making her look somewhat out of character, at any rate.

Being an imitation of Saeko's writing, this is in somewhat poor taste.

Story

Hey guys! Did you all see that awesome doujinshi with Miho-sama in that even-cuter school uniform, and Ping, and, well... anyway. What I wanted to say was, as your inside source to what's really going on with the Main Characters, it's my duty to expose to your the truth of those events! Here we go!

Oh, you should read this while browsing the doujinshi so you can see what I'm talking about, what I'm explaining, and where I correct the poor author when he goes astray.

That nasty stalker Piro started it all by trying to sneak into Kimiko's locker. They're already dating! Why does he need to do this? Because boys are scum, obviously. But Largo, not wanting to allow any female to have blackmail power over any male, destroyed the locker before Piro could incriminate himself. Piro, revealing is true nature, groped Kimiko, who dumped him.

Out a window.

Don't mess with the cute ones.

Anyway, this revealed that Piro was in fact, as we all suspected, working for a secret organization that hunts down Kimiko fanboys and destroys them. This is why he was trying to destroy poor Kimiko's locker on her. Poor Kimiko. It's hard enough having one obsessive, destructive, psychotic stalker fanboy, but she has dozens, and they fight each other over her. It's like the Fanboy War all over again.

Oh. Also Largo used a sniper scope to check out Erika's ass. Yeah, that's not a euphemism. Mmmm... Erika's ass. Where was I? Oh yeah. Back at conspiracy headquarters, all four of them are united. And it seems that that the obsessive stalkers are also not content with just leaving love notes either. One of them put an explosive in the locker next door to destroy all of the rivals' letters. Cleverly done, but who could it be?

Oh, note how Kimiko and Erika unify against Largo's pervertedness. The only perversion they'll tolerate is with each other. Tee hee!

And now the big plot twist-- the locker belongs to Miho. Yep! Miho's got a secret crush on Kimiko! She came to school just to plant the bomb, after two months of absence. Oooh, Miho in a towel. asdaewklqrowqwnrlkf. Sorry. Had to clean the nosebleed off the keyboard.

Now Piro heads off in pursuit of Miho, probably trying to restart old flings, not realizing that the only reason Miho was ever interested in his pathetic ass was that she thought he was a girl, and not completely lame (two things which are now completely obvious). Oh, also notice the blatantly out of character PxK shipping. They even have matching screen names. It's cute, in an artifically saccharine-sweet sort of way.

Here's where things get whacky. Piro attempts to make contact with Miho, fails. As always. But then, everyone suddenly notices that Pirogoeth is next to him. I think this is a symbol of Piro's desire to be appealing to Miho by reaching back to what she once found appealing. But since it's just a doujinshi, she can really be there. Pirogoeth verifies that she's happy to break the laws of literary causality so long as she doesn't get talk. This is important folks-- Main Characters can do all kinds of craziness. This is the real key-- why they're the main attraction and we're all just a side show.

But of course, Piro's not the only one. He's not even in the top five, people. And now the main attraction shows up. Miho shows her truly dominating personality in the form of her Endgames avatar, who incidentally is really hot despite being male. Largo, paranoid freak that he is, immediately recognizes his video game nemesis and opens fire, ineffectively as usual. This leads to a highly one-sided battle, while the beautiful Kimiko rescues the bewildered Miho, (whose aggressive tendencies are busy beating Largo to a pulp) out of the scene so they can have a beautiful tender love scene together. Be sure to look for that next week. All I can say is, starting from the part on the next page where Kimiko's cuddling Miho's breasts, it only gets better. I'm really looking forward to showing how that conversation really went between them before that jealous jerk Piro interrupted in an attempt to secure a threesome.

Speaking of jerks, the personification of Piro's desires shows up and points a gun at our poor helpless defenseless Miho! (Remember, her aggressive tendencies are still busy beating Largo into a smudge on the pavement) Kimiko holds a gun to Pirogoeth to defend her love. But fear not-- Miho's in charge of the situation. Now that it's done beating the snot out of Largo (I admit I like saying that), it comes back and grabs Pirogoeth by the waist.

"You seem to have plenty of them," Miho's proxy says, holding the deliciously helpless Pirogoeth. "Can I have this one?"

"No, take me! I'll be much more cooperative," Sable Princess Saeko says. We don't know how she got there, but she can fly, so when opportunity knocks, she's usually around to let it in, so to speak. That's totally not a euphemism either.

"No way, it's my turn!" Kimiko complains.

"Uh-uh, I saw Miho first! That means I'm at the head of the line," Saeko persists with a girlish pout. She ducks to avoid one of Pirogoeth's more desperate kicks.

"You're giving them quite a show," Miho's end-games character warns Pirogoeth.

"Yeah," Saeko agrees, distracted, just a tiny bit.

"Oh don't worry," Miho's end-games character says. "I have time to ravish the lot of you."

And so they leave. I'll leave the rest to your-- ahem-- imaginations. At least until next week.

Oh, except for Ping. Poor Ping didn't get to get ravished. "What about me?" she asks. But I think that's because Miho's love for her is a little more of a tender, shall we say, sisterly sort of love. But I think we've all seen what I've written about that.

Ja ne for this week! --DarkMagicalGirl

p.s. I'm in ur account, ravishing ur characters. --Burninator.